I photographed Ethan and Miraya’s engagement session and wedding, what seems like eons ago, and now just photographed a sweet and personal photo session in Miraya’s mother’s home right before they moved to Vermont. Before they drove off in their UHaul truck to make their way to their new home, we took some photos of them one last time!
Mike and Doreen just celebrated their 20-year anniversary and wanted to do something special for it. When you’re living every day life as a couple so often you can easily forget to be sure you carve time out to cherish and enjoy each other’s company, but this is not how it is with Mike and Doreen! I have had many interactions with Mike as we have been preparing for their session and I must say, I could tell that Mike & Doreen have found a way to not only love each other still but to continue adoring and appreciating each other!
They say that with time most couples lose their “flame” and slowly take one another for granted thus the “love” and affection dissipates. A couple months ago when I was at the Jacksonville airport waiting at my gate, I noticed an old married couple sitting in front of me. My plane was delayed a couple hours so I had much time on my hands and so did they. What shocked and saddened me is that the entire time we all sat waiting, I noticed that only 3-4 times did they exchange words or even look at each other. The husband sat there reading his paper and keeping himself busy with his phone while she read a magazine and just people watched. They weren’t talking to each other, just in their own separate worlds. I texted my friend about this and my friend’s response was so profound, wise, and right on target. I think such “advice” is worthy enough to share on my blog since so many of you that read my blog are either about to get married or have been married for many years, like Mike & Doreen, and perhaps my friend’s insight will motivate you further to nurture and prioritize the one that means the most to you in your life. I hope these words of wisdom my good friend texted me will inspire you all as it did me:
“Typically newlyweds are excited and eager…then as time goes by, distractions start impacting the day to day routine…kids are born as are careers…they don’t know well enough that they are slowly losing touch. As time passes the rift silently grows wider. Other people and other outside relationships start to replace the spouse… in their innocence they still don’t see what lies ahead, they don’t know they should be fighting for time with each other… Instead they blame each other for not making things better. Once they start down that road they are already undone…without the wisdom of experience and age to aid them they perpetuate into a destructive relationship…each posturing themselves defensively, waiting for their chance to lash out while at the same trying to understand when and where things went so horribly wrong. Sure, they make attempts at amends. Neither started this journey to fail but without complete selflessness and compassion there are too many things that once lost, are gone forever. Trust and respect are the primary two traits where there can never, ever, be any doubt in the mind of a partner…Well, not if there is going to be a healthy mutual partnership. What happens typically is one spouse becomes dominate and basically runs the show. The other is along for the ride. Never confided in, never involved in decisions, ignored on many levels. This becomes neglect and opens the door for lying, adultery, and other unfortunate events… to make it you are either a team, meaning partners… i.e. alive and involved… or you accept your lot in life and become a servant.”
Well Mike & Doreen have definitely not made such common neglectful mistakes as my friend talks about and therefore they are in a very happy, healthy, loving, and fulfilling relationship. I hope these photos inspire all you couples out there that have been married for many years… may your love continue to flourish and bloom.