HEART TO HEART:
Prior to discovering my talent in photography, I have been told ever since I was 17 years old that I should become a writer. My very first attempt to write something was published when I was in college and to this day I remember my professor taking me aside and telling me, “Darice you need to write about your life for so many people would be touched and inspired by it. Promise me you’ll write one day, you have a gift.” Looking into his indignant eyes, I gave him my vow that one day I would indeed write. His eyes snickered with doubt at my weak promise and proclaimed, “I will be looking for a book from you with your name on it!” as if I wasn’t sure of my own answer.
As I have aged, more and more people have encouraged me to write a book someday. My girl friend went to see a psychic one day and the psychic even told her, “you need to tell your friend, Darice, that she needs to write a book!” I never met this woman or even spoke to this psychic yet she knew I was suppose to be writing. I have had countless people I know and barely know almost begging me to write. After a long conversation I had with my dear friend from California, she couldn’t stop thanking me for the advice and help I gave her on how to handle a hurtful situation she was going through with a man she was falling for. Her repeated words to me were of, “Darice you are so good at figuring out others and what to say and how to say it.” This morning I was so pleased when she called me to tell me that everything I had told her to say “worked” and that the whole time she spoke to him she was thinking, “What would Darice say?” Her morning call was the sound of peace and relief as her worst fears didn’t come to florition. Just a few days ago, another friend whom I hadn’t spoken to in a long time openly revealed to me a serious situation that her parents were undergoing. By the end of our conversation, my friend did a 360 degree turn in her perspective and found the courage and strength to be and respond to the urgent situation as I had encouraged her to do so. Our 1.5 hour conversation ended with her gratefully expressing, “Darice, thank you so much for helping me to understand better. You really helped me tremendously and thank you for not judging.” It seems more and more my phone rings with calls of new and old friends looking for advice or guidance with whatever they are going through. Even moments where I am at the beach with my kids and a friend sitting beside me will open up about something that they have never been open about before, crying in desperation yet feeling safe in coming to me with their “situation”. It is clear to me that, yes, one day I should write for I have come to see that all of us are very much alike and no matter who or what we are, we all have one thing in common…. “the human heart”.
I have always had this beckoning yearning to write about the things I see, feel and have learned but just never felt quite ready to do so. So instead it seems I am to be a therapist and rather than writing a novel or autobiography professing my life experiences on parchment, I am speaking outwardly and compassionately to so many people about their life and how to deal with the many hard ships and difficulties life brings them. I swear, I must have been a therapist in a former life!
So often I am asked, “why isn’t a girl like you dating yet?” And although I enjoy going out to dinner from time to time meeting new people, I honestly have to say I have never been more happy and free in my life as I am now. There is no greater pleasure than coming home to utter silence where I can hear my thoughts, feel my heart, reflect, acknowledge, see my future dreams and do whatever and whenever the heck I want.
It’s funny how things have shifted in our society. Nowadays more and more women are enjoying being alone and are not eagerly awaiting for a marriage proposal; whereas, in my own recent experiences, most men are ready to drop everything and enter into your world full time. For years women have been categorized as needy and cannot live without being in a relationship, yet I find that contrary to the popular stigma that women are emotional and weak, the truth is, women are very strong, independant and seem to have quite a head on their shoulders to which they can not only survive alone but happily do so!
Ironically, although I enjoy sharing a meal with others, I can’t wait to end a date so I can go home and be alone! Yes this could possibly stem from being accompanied by a man that doesn’t wait for your own drink to arrive before drinking his, or how he walks in front of you rather than opening the door for you, or how he might obnoxiously take up the whole conversation as he insecurely tries to impress you with all he’s done in life, yet even with those that do exhibit manners and show signs of genuine interest in your own life, I still look forward to when that time comes where I can get in my van, shut the door, start the ignition and drive back to my haven that I can call my own. I never dreamed that I would enjoy “myself/me” so much!!!!
My life is filled with so many new experiences, meeting so many new people and growing closer and closer to my children, that there is nothing in the world I would dare trade for. Of course life is never perfect, whether single or not, dating or married, we all wished certain things would favor in our direction; however even in the midst of all the difficult things I have personally faced, I have never been more happy.
Every now and then I google my name “Darice Michelle” to see what crazy things pop up in the search engine, and today I was surprised and even humored that there is another “Darice Michelle” out there, and guess what, not only is she an author, but ironically she wrote a book called “Table for One, PLEASE.” Funny how such things come up at just the right time.
For all my brides and grooms that will soon marry, please do not misunderstand me, I am not suggesting that everyone needs to be alone or that living a life in solitude is meant for everyone or is the means for happiness, for I believe there is also great enjoyment and fulfillment in loving and being loved by someone and as a wedding photographer I see love in the air all the time; however, I am just encouraging all those out there that ARE single to take hold of your single hood with gratitude, guard over it as a gem and appreciate this unique time in your life while you have it. Allow yourself to feel the liberation that comes from silence , embrace those times where you can curl up watching a movie alone, value your time alone for there is nothing that can warrant such meaningful self-growth and self-fulfillment. Cherish these “single” days because it truly is a gift. And it’s a gift that I am not eager to give up quite yet.
They say, “everything happens for a reason”, well at least my nail filer says this (LOL). But I have to agree in such words. Even when the harshest of harshest storms overwhelm you, always keep a healthy and positive perspective. Never let the earthquakes pull you too far into the earth’s soil. And if it does, so what! So you got soiled, acknowledge the dirt that covers you, but don’t wipe it off too quickly for if you do, you just might miss out on the dirts nutrition. Take notice of it, learn from it then get yourself cleaned up again.
One day I will write… who knows exactly when that’ll be, but for now I am just taking life in, soaking up all it has to offer and welcoming the good with the bad. Not one human soul can escape the challenges we might reluctantly face, but what we can do is be courageous and true to ourselves when those moments arrive.
Much love,
Darice Michelle
